Emotion & Rationality

Part of me wants to experience emotion, but the other part observes the blasphemy and vehemently objects. My deepest values are truth and integrity. Accordingly, apparent irrationalities disturb me. Emotion is something that is non-rational. There is no reason why any particular experience should evoke any emotion. It seems that we simply accept the associations because we are so well habituated to them. They seem to be part of us. But the fact of the matter is that those emotional associations are not automatic and can be overcome. But what does one gain from overcoming positive emotional associations? I suppose only more certainty about one’s own rationality.

I have been struggling with artistic expression. The question of purpose invades my mental territory and decimates the defending forces. Why express emotion if it is an irrationality? Regardless of my problem with emotion, I still experience plenty of the stuff. Yet, when I feel the urge to express those feelings, the army of purpose soon appears and I am forced to take cover and withdrawal my advance.

Still, I yearn to feel positive emotion. I want to love and be loved. I want to care for others and want others to care for me. I highly value human to human connection. Why should I? Well maybe it’s not that it’s irrational, but rather that I just can’t understand the rationality behind it. Thus, I must be able to cultivate faith in values such as this. I am not absolutely opposed to this type of faith, but I must be careful with it.

A value I have no problem passionately pursuing eternally is that of knowledge. I can understand the rejection of this value on the grounds that having emotion for anything is irrational. However, if it is hypothesized that what I perceive as irrational might actually be rational but doesn’t appear to be due to my lack of understanding, then it is conceivable that if I keep on pursuing knowledge I might one day come to the point where all of the pieces come together to form the answer to these very questions about emotion and legitimate values. And furthermore, if it is assumed that there are no legitimate values, then what is the value in rejecting all values?