Modern Life Sucks

I graduated from College a month and a half ago and now need to find a job in order to survive economically. The problem is that when I think of all the roles that are played in our modern economy, the overwhelming majority of them seem quite horrible. Working as a waiter? Cashier? Bank teller? Factory worker? Construction worker? Research assistant? No thanks to all of these. Yes, there are roles to play that seem great. I would love to be a singer, or perhaps an educator, maybe a consultant, definitely a life coach, a therapist, a clinical psychologist, a psychiatrist, perhaps a counselor. But the problem is that even though I could find a role that I enjoy, I'd still be working within a system that necessitates others to spend their working hours doing unpleasant work. My Kantian conscience doesn't do well with this.

I previously thought that a Utopian society is possible if we make all the right changes. However, I'm starting to have second thoughts. Perhaps we can only lessen the unpleasantness of most work roles. Perhaps we can only lessen the depersonalizing and alienating conditions of most private and public hierarchical workplaces. Perhaps I'll have to settle for this limited progress.

Let's say that we all equally slit up the most menial tasks that must get done. This does not mean that the work that is left is spectacular. Professional work is usually quite specialized and operates within bureaucracies. Is being a politician really an engaging job? Doesn't engineering for a company get old after a while? Would I really want to manage mutual funds four of five days a week? I know I certainly would not want to manage an insurance company. That can't be fun. Even being a doctor seems quite tedious to me. I mean, how does that not get old? And think of lawyers; they just argue their clients' cases day in and day out. Imagine doing that for thirty years.

Perhaps I'm being too tough. Perhaps there are people who love doing these professional jobs. Perhaps the people who currently perform these jobs are quite satisfied. Well I certainly don't get this impression from the professionals I come across.

I just want people to enjoy their work. I recognize that task variety is not enough. We need our economy to be based on work that is intrinsically interesting and pleasurable--even after 25 years of doing the work. Is this possible? I'm not sure. All I can do try to make it happen.

However, if I see that pleasurable work has severe limits, there is still one important strategy left to use: the radical minimization of one's consumption. It's really quite simple: the less we spend, the less we have to work. Modern-day labor-saving technology makes the acquisition of food very cheap compared to pre-industrial times. Additionally, we can replace cars and trains with bicycles, which cost much less per month to operate. And there's no need for eating out; nor for paying for entertainment.

So maybe modern life doesn't have to be so bad after all. We shall see . . .

Work and Potential

The thought of working most jobs frightens me. Yes, the obligation of performing monotonous tasks day in and day out is a big reason for this. However, an even greater reason has to do with the opportunity cost of working a job. Even if the job is fun, one still must give up the potential for what could have alternatively been created during that time. If one is seeking only their own pleasure in life, finding a fun job would be ideal. However, I am primarily seeking the maximization of collective happiness. I therefore feel very uncomfortable when I must devote my time to activities that I do not view as the most essential for the achievement of that goal.

Being stuck doing tasks below my greatest utilitarian potential would plague my mind with a feeling of forced immorality. This is precisely what I fear. Hopefully I'll find an economic role that steers me clear of this.

Films and Opportunity

I just finished watching The Social Network. It was an engaging film--and it is this point that has motivated to write. I don't watch very many films, but I have to admit that the feeling of being absorbed in a life other than your own is quite spectacular. I feel like I gain a great deal from having this experience with films with intellectual content. I'm not about to create nuanced criteria for what does and what doesn't fall under this category. There is a spectrum. Roughly, films centered around car chases and explosions most likely won't make the cut. As for the rest, that's where one has to do the mental work to determine that for oneself. It should be a an enjoyable activity. Well at least it is for someone with my cognitive disposition.

After finishing The Social Network life felt so grand. Living that world for two hours filled my mind with endless possibilities for my life. And this possibility is true, but only because of the privileged position I find myself in. Though I don't have large financial assets to draw from, I'm an American citizen attending a relatively elite college in New York City. If I was born to a poor family in Venezuela or Bangladesh it would be a very different story unfortunately. Maybe my intrinsic talent could have pulled me out of that dire situation and allowed me to succeed; but maybe not. Thus, I feel incredibly lucky to have the opportunity I have, and also feel an incredible obligation to make sure that as many people in the world as possible are given the same (or hopefully an even better) opportunity.

It saddens me to think of what someone my age living in poverty in some underdeveloped country would be thinking at the end of this same film. They certainly could not feel the same sense possibility I felt. Would they instead feel resentment? Or would they feel a different set of positive emotions? I could see how they might be inspired by a rags to riches story, as many poor Americans have been throughout our country's history. But this isn't a rags to riches story, it's the story of a group of talented a privileged young men making it big. Well I don't know. All I do know is that I have to do all in my power to create equal opportunity on this planet.

The Knowledge I Seek

I am thinking hard about this question of what knowledge I seek. What exactly do I need to know in order to make the changes in the world I am pursuing? What exact knowledge do I need to seek out? There are many academic disciplines in existence. Which contain the information I need? If none do, which are best equipped to create that information?

At core I want a world where deep and critical thinking abounds and where institutions are humanistic. What are the barriers to this? Are they economic, political, psychological, or cultural? Or do barriers exist within each of these realms? Certainly these realms are all interrelated, but where does that leave me? I don't think this implies that the entirety of the answer lies in systems theory. As for what it does imply, I don't yet know. Perhaps the key is simply to promote deep and critical thinking and humanistic institutions. Knowledge can be pursued as practice necessitates. Is this indeed the right strategy?

For a long time I've had the idea that eventually all of the key pieces of knowledge I've gained throughout my life will coalesce into The Answer. Perhaps this idea has unnecessarily led me toward many of the episodes of stress I've experienced. But, on the other hand, hard work toward The Answer does sometimes pay off. For example, there is Kant's Categorical Imperative, Keynes' General Theory, and Einstein's Theory of Relativity. But who says I have to quit my theoretical work while I do my practical work? Matthew Arnold inspected schools while he developed his ideas. John Stuart Mill worked for the East India Company. These are two of my biggest heroes. If they mixed the practical with the theoretical, I don't see what danger there is in my doing the same.

Being Overwhelmed

I feel overwhelmed right now. This is no rare occurrence in my life. I remember early in 10th grade writing in my journal that I wanted to do many many things. I couldn't limit myself to one or a few specializations:

I wonder what I will do with my life? It seems that there is not enough time to try all that I want. I don’t want to pick one career. This sucks. I want to do everything I ever wanted to do, see what I accomplish. I want to be #1 in the world. I can’t settle. I need to understand everything.

I wanted to have the world in my hands. I wanted experience everything it has to offer. And indeed I also wanted to be subordinate to no one. At that time I saw the world as inevitability hierarchical and so strove to reach the top of that hierarchy. Now of course I see that there are other ways, ways which will not violate Immanuel Kant's categorical imperative.

I now find myself with a similar feeling. Or rather, the feeling never really went away. I still hold those same yearnings I held almost 10 years ago. I still want the world in my hands; or more accurately, in my head. I feel so many projects invading my brain. I want to do them all. But I can't. Yes, I enjoy this weeks reading for my "Worlds of Work" class; but I also want to work on my Social Progress Network Website; and I also want to just think and try to synthesize everything I know; and I also want to go out and spend time cool people, like those I met at this past StartingBloc Institute for Social Innovation in Boston. I am being pulled in different directions, which results in moving in no direction.

So how do I collect myself? How do I get my mind to focus on one task, while not losing sight of the grander picture? How can I pursue my goals within a healthier state of mind--one devoid of the overwhelming feeling?

Knowledge and Ego

It is a common trap to religiously pursue knowledge. We believe we are doing a virtuous thing: we are becoming wise; we are understanding the world at a greater depth. But this pursuit of the greatest understanding is both impossible and a mask wherein the pursuit of superiority is hidden.

The non-egocentric pursuit of knowledge aims at either self-fulfillment or a practical end such as the improvement of a machine or the improvement of a society. Nevertheless, we must be careful because these motives can be intertwined with the egocentric motive. This intertwining makes the destructive egocentric motive much harder to spot. We must therefore keep our awareness sharp in order to defend ourselves against this ego-seducing trap.

The Science of Sleep

I just finished watching The Science of Sleep. It's a fascinating film about a creative and quirky young man who has trouble differentiating dreams from reality. He's originally from Mexico, but moves to France, where his mom lives, after his father dies. There the young man, Stephan, meets Stephanie. The issues surrounding the switching between dreams and reality are very interesting, but I'm more interested in the relationship between Stephan and Stephanie.

Stephanie is also a creative person. She plays the piano and also likes to create things with her hands like Stephan. In the scene where Stephan and Stephanie really start to get to know each other they start planning creative projects together. The first project has to do with creating some kind of scene to record through stop motion. They get really excited talking about and foraging for the supplies they'll use for the project. However, since it's late they have to postpone the project for another day.

Stephan goes on with his crazy life that mixes dreams and reality. He goes to work, works in his imaginary studio, etc. Stephan and Stephanie eventually get close, but Stephanie ends up rejecting Stephan--no surprise since he's a lunatic. The demonstration of Stephan's emotions is brilliant. You see his hidden fears and desires through his dreams, and you see that carry over into his real life. You see his anxieties and anguish play out. You see him stoop to acting like a child when nothing else works near the end of the film.

I've never seen a film that delves this deep into the emotions one feels at the various stages of a relationship. I highly recommend this film. It's powerful. I almost never watch a film twice, but I'll probably make an exception for this one. I wanted to to take notes while watching it. I probably will the second time around. Now I can really understand why some people see more philosophical content in stories than in theoretical works. Concreteness is powerful.


Update - 3/8/11

There is an important scene at the end I forgot to mention. When Stephan and Stephanie begin to get close again, Stephan playfully throws something out the window. This creates an imaginary fire that they need to put out. When they are running around solving this problem together, you see that same energy you saw at the beginning when they were discussing the strop motion project. What they are doing is carrying out tasks together. They are essentially working together. They are cooperating with each other toward the accomplishment of a shared goal. And they are having fun in the process, as kids have fun building LEGO castles or blanket forts together. It was beautiful to see this. It seemed like the apex of happiness. It presents an important lesson in the science of relationships and happiness.